ANXIETY ~ ATTACKING ANXIETY ONE DAY AT A TIME
Living within the confines of anxiety is an extremely personal situation. It warrants a very specific understanding of the person who has anxiety.
Because it’s invisible. Unless you see someone having an anxiety attack, there is no way to know. Therefore, people say and do things they may not if they understood.
Someone with anxiety shouldn’t have to walk up and say,
I’m Kari. I have anxiety.”
And if I did, people would treat me like a precious proclean doll. Afraid to say or do anything around me. What kind of life would that be?
Like most who suffer from anxiety, no one in their immediate surroundings are aware of the truth. For that exact reason I’m probably one of the happiest people in my office.
You see, being a comedian is not who I really am. I’m good at it, don’t get me wrong.
But it is a defense mechanism no less. A way to keep people at arms length. Using a quick quip makes people laugh. It derails the conversation without them realizing it.
You see, people hijack conversations. They can’t wait to get a word in. I use that to my advantage.
They say something along the lines of “that reminds me” and they’re off. My, never having to tell them anything at all.
In the end I avoid letting anyone into my life. It might seem sad, but thus far I have little friends. HOWEVER, the silver lining is, NO DRAMA!! And that is worth everything to me.
Drama, for years, added to my anxiety. Lead to fear of measuring up, not being successful, not thin enough or wearing the right brand of clothing.
I realized, it didn’t matter.
What I wanted mattered. Was I happy? My husband? Daughter?
Those two people are my core values. My reason to get out of bed every day. Everything I do is for them.
So I stopped. Stopped trying to please everyone, and started pleasing my family.
Hopefully we can make a connection. A way to be there for each other.