anxiety, stress, new life, starting over, building a dream


It’s amazing how much difference it makes when you are surrounded by people who love and support you. Those are the victories that make life worth while.

I realize I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but if you are like me, when the going gets tough you probably isolate yourself.

Personally, it’s my go-to move. I just want to be alone. I do it despite the fact, it makes me feel worse. That truly is the crazy thing.

As tired and overwhelmed as I feel, two awesome things happened this weekend.

Awesomeness #1

My husband and I came up with a retirement goal. A three year plan to FULLY pay off all our debt. To get organized and go where we need to go.  At this point the plan is short lived, as we just came up with it last week.

However, I already feel more peaceful. The reason being is that my husband said I can quit my job and be a baker if I want.

Like the majority of America, we have debt. Not like we have in previous years, but debt just the same.

We aren’t independently rich either (insert sad face). SOOO that pretty much means I have to work.

No problem. It makes the world go around.

What’s really cool is he said I could quit my 9-5 gig and take on baking full time. I can’t do it now because I am tormenting myself.

For some reason, anxiety seems to trump optimism.

All I can think of is the fact that if I’m not successful, the bills won’t be paid. I can’t let it be.

If the bills were paid off, I could have a little breathing room.

I can’t seem to allow myself to do something solely for me. I automatically perceive it as possibly letting my family down.

The silver lining though, is the fact that I have something to work toward. I know what I need to do. I can either take the appropriate steps, or not.

It’s that simple.

Awesomeness #2

The Farmers Market.

It… went… AWESOME!!

We had a great time. All the hard work was worth it. We sold out of everything except one item.

Everyone’s comments and reactions to our booth were wonderful.  It really made me motivated to keep going.

The truth is, I need to test recipes and see what people like before opening an official bakery.  Additionally, I would really like to make some savory treats.

The End Justifies the Means

My hope, in three years my daughter and I will have perfected our baking skills AND my car/credit card debt will be paid off 100%.

If both of those things happen I will be set up and ready to quit my 9-5.

While this relieves a lot of stress from me, it also creates some. The reason, because I know how much I need to do. It seems overwhelming.

I’m a take it one step at time kind of girl, so I know I’ll get there.

The only issue is me. My mind. The fact that I’m already thinking about how much I’m going to need to accomplish in the next few years.

All while working my day job. And of course, I can’t forget my beloved blog. And certainly not at the detriment of my awesome readers.

I think I can do it. For now, that will have to be enough.

Certainly there will be melt downs. I have no doubt. But the end. The end will be glorious.

I just need to get through the middle.

Like Dory’s mom said,

Just keep swimming.”

The fight for survival continues…


What are your goals? What are you doing to achieve them?

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