Happy 68th Birthday Dad – Bringing my Sister and I Together

Another Year Gone By

Florida, Pool, Swimming, Parents
Dad, Ron and me relaxing by the pool. Happy Birthday Dad!!

I woke up this morning thinking, is my dad really 68 years old? I suppose it’s correct. After all I am over 40 and it is his birthday. It’s funny though. Even when we know something to be true, it’s hard to comprehend. Ron and I arrived back in Texas from Florida a few days ago. A trip we took because my dad was deathly ill. While in Florida we had a birthday dinner for my dad. He wasn’t enthused. Of course, we all had a good time. My sister’s family was there and we hadn’t seen them for a long time.

I suppose the real hardship is realizing your parents are getting older. Internalizing the fact life isn’t a given. I’m aware 68 isn’t a low number, but it isn’t a high one either. After all, I have a grandmother who is 91. Despite the fact I’m home in Texas, working my day job, I hope my dad and mom have a good day. With any amount of luck, the sun will shine and he can find peace by the pool.

I know my dad and I don’t have many years left together, but we have to make the best of those we do have. I recall leaving Florida mad. Mad at my dad. Mad at my mom. Most of all deceived by the entire situation. When Ron and I left Florida I said I was cutting myself off. Embarrassingly enough, I struggle with being understanding. Honestly speaking though, it’s only when the other party has the ability to not hurt someone, but do so anyway. Certainly when I left Florida I felt there was a choice. I guess it’s not really for me to judge.

The best part of going to Florida, was getting to see my sister and her kids again. At one point in my life my sister, her kids and I were very close.  Over the years the relationship has been strained. Both of us allowing the distance between us to increase. The sheer amount of madness we endured over the past week has brought us together. I think over the years we have both felt one of us was a different parents favorite. This week, without the rose colored glasses, we saw things for what they really are. A façade.

I hope the relationship between all of us stays intact. At least then there would be some good that came from all of this. As for my dad, he was given a Hail Mary.  It’s up to him what he wants to do with it. This can be the first of many healthy birthdays, or it can be his last. But it’s not up to me. Not any of us. But this I do know, it’s not for me to judge. I have my own struggles. Everyone fights their own battles. The best we can do is love and support each other. At least I have my sister.

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