Valentine’s Day. A day of joyfulness. Celebration. A time to show each other how much we mean to each other. Personally I have my own feelings about Valentine’s Day. I show love every day. To make sure those who love you know you love and appreciate them each and every day. In my mind one day of flowers and going out to dinner will not replace a years’ worth of otherwise bad behavior.
Historical Significance of Valentine’s Day
“The pairing of young boys and girls did set the mood of that the Valentine’s Day Festival as we know today. But it was actually due to the efforts and daring of a priest St Valentine that the festival got its name and clearer meaning. The story goes that during the reign of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in several bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius found it tough to get soldiers and felt the reason was men did not join army because they did not wish to leave their wives and families. As a result Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. A romantic at heart priest of Rome Saint Valentine defied Claudius’s unjustified order. Along with Saint Marius, St Valentine secretly married couples. When his defiance was discovered, Valentine was brutally beaten and put to death on February 14, about 270 AD. After his death Valentine was named a Saint.”
This is by far the most significant version of Valentine’s Day that I am familiar with. I suppose if I’m honest, I haven’t heard any other version. For more information about the holiday, I’ve included a link below. In fact, when I hear complaints about modern marriage I say, Thank St. Valentine.
Life Experiences Shape our Significance to the Holiday
Early in adult life I was taught flowers were given as an apology. Jewelry received when crossed by someone who loved you. I was not a spoiled child. We most certainly did not receive lavish gifts on holidays. In my family being together was always enough. As children I cannot say my sister and I received the message, but we knew it was there. Early into my adult life I was given a lot of gifts. Holidays or otherwise. At one point I put it together that everything was given to me as a result of “sorry.” Something 100% avoidable, but carelessly done anyway.
By the time I left the relationship I was burned. Sure, I knew what was going on for a long time. But I’m not the type of person to walk away. I leave when I know I’m done. No second guessing. No looking back. I took it and took it until I was so bitter I hated myself. In that moment I knew I had enough. I walked away. Nothing could have made me change my mind. I was done.
When Love Finds You
I quickly met my husband (16 years ago) after that relationship. He is the sweetest most giving person on the planet. Do you think I accepted the love? Hell no. I acted like he was apologizing for something. Even when my rational mind told me it was ridiculous. Fast forward 16 years and I’m still against Valentine’s Day. I only ask that you show me love and respect throughout the year. I have effectively robbed him of his loving nature. I’m broke. I know. BUT it isn’t as easy as just saying I will change. It is so ingrain in me that I’m crippled by it.
Ironically though, we do not know what we need until it’s almost too late. Just this morning Ron was hugging me. Sure I hug back but he knows me too well. I said, I’m broke. I don’t know how to accept love. His reply, I know. I love you anyway. Doesn’t get much sweeter than that. No amount of roses, chocolates or a dinner out can replace that feeling. The feeling of someone saying, I love and accept you as you are.
My Work Family
My co-workers are sweet too. I came into work this morning off emergency leave and found this. Perhaps I’m coming around. I know they are not buttering me up for anything. These are just nice kind hearted women. I have to admit, seeing someone thought about me outside of work is nice. Someone made a conscious decision to make my day better. Who could object to that?
I still find Valentine’s Day to be a corporate holiday. After all, Valentine’s Day spending will reach $18.9 billion this year. What if we took that funding and put it in the bank? In a few years a person would have a down payment for a house. That is my though process. Flowers die. Our house we’ll have forever. No surprise, I have a finance degree. Certainly you’re shocked by my thought process. Don’t get me wrong. I’m for anything that is healthy and brings someone joy. Life is about finding our own joy. Letting our own light shine. No need to let it shine for someone else.
Valentine’s Day will be spent with Breezy and Shayne, and of course my other half Ron. My mouth is nearly watering thinking about the steaks at home marinating. Ron is going to throw those bad boys on the grill. After dinner we’ll watch a movie. The fact they want to spend Valentine’s Day with me is enough. When there are a million other things to do, and they pick you, nothing in the world is better than being a wife and mom.
Valentine’s Day full article: http://www.stvalentinesday.org/history-of-st-valentines-day.html
Valentine’s Day spending full article: http://www.stvalentinesday.org/history-of-st-valentines-day.html